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Are you secretly scared of stepping up?

17 Jun

The Fear Factor

 

What are the goals that you want to achieve?  What do you dream of moving towards?   Where do you want to be in your life?

These are all exciting and thought-provoking questions.  I’m sure you have some wonderful ideas running through your mind right now about your goals, dreams and desires.

Maybe you want to be more successful in your business or career?

Perhaps you want to reach a particular weight?

It could be that you want to move to the next income level?

As you focus on your particular goal, I wonder if any fears or doubts come up for you?

When I’m working with clients, I always check out whether there are any hidden benefits to staying where they are right now.  They usually answer pretty quickly and say, ‘Of course not!  I really want to lose weight/earn more/get that promotion’.

But when I ask them to think about it more deeply, often they realise that it feels safer and more comfortable to stay where they are at the moment.  Secret doubts and fears surface about what it might be like to achieve their goals.

‘I’m worried that I’ll attract more attention if I reach my ideal weight.’

‘My boss might find out that I’m not good enough if I get that promotion at work.’

‘People will think I’m greedy if I earn that much money.’

I wonder if any of these sound familiar to you?  Maybe you have your own concerns about how it would be to step up and grab your desired outcome.

These hidden (or not so hidden!) fears can prevent us from living the life we want.  They can keep us stuck and stop us from taking action.

That’s why I have created a special tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique) routine to release any fears you might have around success and being more visible.

You can see the video below and tap along to let go of any worries or doubts you might have.

 

When you have watched the video, I would love to hear what goal you are moving towards at the moment and how this tapping routine helped.  Comment below to let me know what action you will be taking as a result of watching this video.

Can you tap your way to your ideal weight?

20 May

A tool  I use more and more in my practice is Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), also known as tapping.  So I was delighted to see an article in The Daily Mail last week singing the praises of tapping, particularly for helping with weight loss.

The article quotes a recent clinical study on 89 women which found that those who tapped for 15 minutes a day lost an average of 16 lb in eight weeks, without following a strict diet or exercise plan.

One area that tapping is particularly helpful with is emotional eating – those times when we reach for food and we’re not physically hungry.

To show you how to use this powerful tool for yourself, I have created a special video which takes you through a tapping routine to help combat emotional eating.

 

 

I’d love to hear how you found this tapping routine.  Comment below and let me know what you experienced and any particular emotional triggers you have for eating.

Will this work for me?

29 Apr

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photography-woman-thinking-image9668962I recently sent out a survey and one of the questions I asked was, ‘Is there anything that stops you from trying hypnotherapy or Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)?’

One of the most common responses was, ‘I’m not sure if or how it would help me.’

I hear this a lot from prospective clients. I even wondered about it myself before I actually started to use these therapies personally (I used to be a bit of a sceptic!).

So, what’s the answer. Can hypnotherapy or EFT help anybody?

My belief (and my experience) is YES! These are powerful, life-changing techniques . However, there are some conditions and in the spirit of complete honesty, I want to share them with you.

1) You need to do the work

I have said this before and always make it clear to my clients. You cannot just come for a hypnotherapy or EFT session, sit back and expect the therapist to do all the work (sorry, but it’s not a magic pill!)

Any kind of therapy is a two-way process. I often give my clients homework to do and you have to be willing to take action.

Maybe you’ve had the experience of reading a self-help book and skipping through the exercises the author recommends (ahem, holding my hand up here!) Did you get any results? No!

If you don’t want to do the work, you won’t get results. A willingness to change and engage in the process is a necessity.

2) You will feel resistance

I can guarantee that resistance will come into play at some point.  What I mean by resistance is feeling fed-up, doubting whether it’s working for you, procrastination or feeling like you’re going backwards.

The truth is, if there wasn’t any resistance you would have made the change already.

I must admit, as a therapist I love it when resistance comes up for a client. I know that might sound mean, but when someone starts to find the process difficult, it means that the real change is taking place.

I generally work with clients for six sessions and around session three or four, I know that they will arrive saying that everything has gone wrong. I’ve come to expect it, so I can secretly smile and reassure them that this is a clear sign that big shifts are happening.

When our norm (hey Norm!) feels threatened, it starts to play up. It might feel like we’re falling back into our old ways, but it’s just Norm trying to keep us safe and comfortable.

The good news? Hypnotherapy and EFT are excellent tools for moving through resistance and dealing with Norm.  We’ve got it covered.

3) The client/therapist relationship is super-important

I have worked with lots of clients who have seen other therapists and not got the results they wanted. When I ask what the experience was like, they usually say that they felt some sort of discomfort with the therapist.

Because they didn’t feel at ease, they couldn’t relax. If you can’t relax, then it’s difficult to go into hypnosis. If you can’t go into hypnosis, then you don’t create the change.

It’s so important that you feel comfortable with your therapist. You need to feel safe and supported in all of the work that you do.

This is why I always offer a free 30-minute consultation to any prospective clients. I want to make sure that they feel at ease with me and happy with the way I work.

4) One-session wonders are possible (but not the norm)

Often people have a belief, particularly with hypnotherapy, that they will have one session and ‘Boom!’, their life will be completely different and all their problems will be solved.

Now, I can certainly help specific issues in one session. Smoking is a common one. The fact is, you either smoke or you don’t smoke so we can switch between one and the other, usually fairly easily.

Other issues are more complex. When it comes to weight loss, you can’t simply give up eating. So we have to make changes to your relationship with food, the way you eat and the choices you make. This takes time and the change can be gradual, but it will come.

EFT can also help to achieve surprisingly quick shifts, but sometimes you have to tap on a particular issue for a while to get clear results.

If you experience chronic pain or a long-term issue, then I always recommend tapping daily (just for a few minutes) to create a change.

Sometimes issues aren’t clear-cut and therefore it’s not so easy to see black and white results.

I personally tap pretty much every day, as well as using self-hypnosis regularly to make changes and achieve my goals.

Is it always quick and easy? No.

Do I sometimes feel like I can’t be bothered? Yes.

When I take the time to do it, do I see results? Yes!

I might not see an immediate change, but I know that my life flows easier when I use these powerful tools.

Often I look back over a period of months, or even years and think, ‘Wow! I really have changed.’ Sometimes we can’t see change when we’re close to it. It’s only when we get some distance and step back that we notice the difference.

When I work with clients, my aim is to give them the tools they need so they can go away and continue to create change. I don’t want to keep the secrets for myself, I want to empower you. Once you know how to use hypnosis and EFT (and anyone can do this!), you have these skills for life.

So, does that answer any questions for you?

Have you been wondering ‘Will this work for me?’

Take action now!  Ask yourself, ‘Am I ready to do the work?’, ‘Is this issue or problem important enough for me to take action?’ and ‘Am I willing to move past any resistance?’

If the answer is, ‘Yes!’, get in touch to arrange your free 30-minute consultation and let’s get started.

How to deal with feelings of stress or overwhelm

25 Mar

simplicity image Many of us have to deal with feelings of stress or overwhelm at times.  Maybe life throws us a curveball, perhaps we have a never-ending to-do list or we feel that those around us are constantly making demands on our time.

Whatever the reason, when we are stressed and overwhelmed, it can feel difficult to cope.  We might find ourselves reaching for junk food, caffeine, alcohol or drugs.  We might experience physical symptoms, such as muscular tension, headaches, low immunity or even chronic disease.  Stress and overwhelm can also impact on all areas of our lives in a negative way, for example, our relationships, health, weight, fertility and general well-being.

So, how can you cope with any feelings of stress and overwhelm you are experiencing right now?  One of the best ways I have found, for myself and my clients, is EFT (emotional freedom technique).  This simple tool can be likened to emotional acupuncture, a way of shifting and releasing any unhelpful feelings.

I often use EFT in combination with hypnotherapy to help my clients achieve powerful results.  To give you a taster of this wonderful technique, I have created a video specifically designed to help you with any feelings of stress and overwhelm.   You can watch the video below and tap along to feel calmer and more in control.

 

Please do comment below to let me know how you found this video.  If you would like to know more about how EFT can help you, get in touch to arrange an initial chat.

Shhh….. Are You Listening?

11 Feb

listenI quite often get asked to speak at different events and workshops, I’ve even been interviewed on BBC Radio, and I enjoy getting the word out about the power of hypnotherapy and emotional freedom technique.  But, as a therapist, what I do best is to listen.

When clients come to me, I’m not there to bombard them with information (we get enough of that in the media and online).  I’m not there to give my opinion (friends, family and acquaintances do a great job of letting us know what they think.)  I’m not there to tell my clients what to do (although some of them might like me to.)

What I am there to do is to carefully listen to what my client is telling me, to ask helpful questions, to give them the space to gently explore what is going on for them and to help them find the best way forward.

When you think about it, we don’t very often get an opportunity to be truly listened to in everyday life.  Even with those who are close to us, they will have their own ideas, their own agendas, however well-meaning.  Conversations can be fast-paced, backwards and forwards, as everyone tries to make their point.  Many interactions take place online or via text and words can be misinterpreted, our intentions can be misunderstood.

When we are truly listened to, it can be a transformational experience.  When someone hears our true voice, when someone ‘gets’ us, when someone gives us the space to get to what we really mean, what we are really trying to say and sometimes that can take time.

That is why I love working with my clients, offering a space for them to talk about and explore whatever they want to focus on.  We might use hypnotherapy or EFT to deepen that exploration, uncover underlying issues, or think about new possibilities, new choices, new opportunities, but before that I listen.

It seems so simple and it can be.

And do you know what?  Often we don’t even listen to ourselves.  Do you take the time to notice the signals your body is giving you?  Do you trust your gut instinct?  Are you in touch with your deep inner wisdom?  This is what I work on with my clients, helping them to find their own answers.   Because whatever you want to do in life, whatever changes you want to make, however you want to be, you have the answers.  You just need to get quiet and listen.

So, my suggestion to you this week is to take some time, give yourself some space and listen to what’s going on for you.  Ask a question of yourself and listen out for the answer.  It will come.

And if you think you could do with some therapeutic listening space, get in touch and let’s talk.

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